This Q&A comes directly from me today. I found myself journaling this morning and coming up on some fear around a big decision. “What if I make the wrong choice?” said the voice in my head. In my five years of coaching clients one-on-one, this is one of the most common questions that rears its head as I witness my clients trying to make decisions for themselves. The mind says, “There is a right choice and a wrong choice, and you better not mess up.” Oh, the pressure! The truth is that when it comes to choosing along our life’s journey, we can’t actually make a wrong choice.
One of my favorite quotations that I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately is that of Yogi Berra: “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” In our search for joy and fulfillment, we can paralyze ourselves with thoughts of “right turn, wrong turn.” The irony is that it is our INACTION that ends up leaving us feeling stuck in a dreary ditch, not a “wrong turn.”
I want you to imagine for a moment that God/Universe/Spirit/Source is like a GPS system. You set the intention, the destination, and you are infinitely supported in getting there. What happens when you make a “wrong turn?” Your GPS system recalculates to help you arrive at your destination. So really, you didn’t take a wrong turn, you simply took the scenic route.
Just like a GPS system, the Universe is with us every step, supporting us along the way–our inner “yes’s” and “no’s” help us to know how on track that we are. If we choose something that ends up not feeling quite right, the Universe helps us recalculate until we find something that does. We are never truly off-path, just going through some twists and turns. We are loved by every process that unfolds and never abandoned. It is only when we stop and turn off the engine, or choose not to act when hitting that fork in the road, that we keep ourselves from our destination. AND rather than finding happiness at the END of the road, we discover that taking action itself creates a deep sense of fulfillment, no matter which way we turn.
One way to work through the fear so that you can take action is to dialogue with it. When I was journaling this morning, my dialogue looked something like this:
Fear: I’m afraid you are going to make the wrong choice.
Consciousness: Thank you so much for always looking out for me. Can you tell me more about what you mean by a “wrong choice?”
Fear: I’m afraid that you will be unhappy and that you will fail in what you set out to do.
Consciousness: I hear you. The thing is that in all of your protectiveness, I’m not actually feeling very happy. Is there a way that we can work together so that we can ensure my success?
Fear: It would make me feel better if you were clear about where you want to go and had a plan.
Consciousness: What a great idea! That makes me feel very grounded. I’m going to get really clear by breaking my goal down into tiny steps right now….
This process of dialoging with my fear gave me a wonderful insight into the ways that even my fear was trying to love me, and I followed up that dialogue with a great plan of action that left me feeling grounded and clear on how to achieve my goal.
In what ways have you found yourself paralyzed by your fear of making a “wrong choice?” I would love nothing more than to support you and celebrate you as we create a plan for you to step beyond your fear and take action on the things that matter most to you. Feel free to contact me and set up a free consult.
In the meantime, I invite you to celebrate each and every step that you take (especially the little ones)–they all count!
:)Melissa A.K.A The JoyDiva
©2012 Melissa Simonson